Step 1: Admitting you have a problem.
Hello, my name is Mr. M and I'm a count-aholic. I am addicted to counting.
My recent counting indiscretions are many.
Sometimes I sit on the wall next to our street with my Daddy counting cars. I tell him, "Dada go get more milk, please. Me stay here and count cars."
I find myself unable to stop singing songs that involve counting. "Alice the Camel has ___ Humps" is torturous! Do you know how many humps that camel can have? And when I sing "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed", I get so excited that I fall down!
I feel compelled to hold up the corresponding number of fingers as I count, much to the amusement of others. 5 is easy - it is my entire hand. 4 is tricky, so I use different combinations of four fingers each time. For 3, I use my thumb, index and middle finger. 2 is my favorite because I put my thumb and index finger out like I'm pointing a gun. (I also throw that one as a gang sign to intimidate others). And 1 is just my index finger, but involves much shaking up and down. The compulsion to show everyone what numbers I'm counting is exhausting.
I count bites of food. I count steps. I count leaves. I count objects in pictures. I count books. Counting is everywhere!
Now others are starting to use my addiction against me in order to manipulate me do what they want. Whenever Mommy wants me to transition to another activity or do something without complaint, she makes it a counting game. How many toys can you pick up? Fill up your cup 3 more times before we turn off the water. You can do that 2 more times and then we go inside. I can't help but comply! It's a disorder and I need help.
I'm looking forward to counting my steps to recovery.
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