"Baby Meat Market" by Baby Max

In the beginning, I had no distinct fears as Mommy and Daddy were loading the car. We have been spending a lot of time packing and unpacking lately. However, I began to experience a general feeling of anxiety as we crossed the state line. Where could be going, hurdling down the highway at maximum speed with me backwards and restrained? I pretended to sleep, hoping to discover the secret plans of Mommy and Daddy. Had Frank put them up to this? Was this an assassination attempt? I grew more and more agitated. After an extremely long period of time shackled in the car, we arrived in Louisville, home of the Underground Baby Market. This was it. Frank had somehow managed to convince Mommy and Daddy to get rid of me.

They carted me around the city and introduced me to various buyers. I was poked, prodded, and cajoled to bare my teeth like some sort of animal. They wanted to hear my noises and for me to demonstrate my skills. I would not succumb to their trickery! I managed to escape the clutches of the potential clients on the first day and attempted to purchase a disguise that night. Surely they would no longer recognize me as the baby for sale!

Alas, my hopes were dashed when I was shaken from my slumber and taken to an outdoor meat market for babies! Oh, the pinching and the measuring of my chubby legs and cheeks! The indignity of my private areas exposed for the world to see as I was stripped! I was passed from one buyer to the next without a thought for my comfort. 

And there were so many others for sale! All shapes, sizes, and ages. One girl fell on the playground and the damage was so severe that she was immediately snatched up. The others ran wildly, trying to escape before they too could be taken. It was madness. The day lasted forever as they tested our endurance skills. Eventually, we were lined up so that the merchandise could be compared. 

Although the superior specimen, I managed to hide my positive attributes. Others were chosen and gradually drifted away. At the end of the day, Mommy and Daddy were forced to reclaim me! Upon my return home, I will reign more forcefully to prevent them from imagining that they can be rid of me so easily. I must also keep a close eye on Frank to make sure he is not plotting against me...... Heil Baby!

Postscript: No babies were harmed in the making of this story. No babies were manipulated for photos in an effort to compare them to the Fuhrer.

Like Mother, Like Son

One of the neatest parts about being a parent is listening to your own parents tell you all the ways your child is similiar to you as a baby. In honor of my 29th birthday, I thought we could take a look back at me when I was a little one. Max may have started off as a mirror image of his Daddy, but he looks just like his Mommy now! The black and white pictures are Marie, circa 28 1/2 years ago. The color pictures are Max....just so there is no confusion!

Same expression

Same sleeping habits

Same chipmunk cheeks!

Vogue

Max and I were feeling artistic recently and this is what we created!

Who is the fairest of them all?

Who can resist a baby's naked tush?

And the piece de resistance:

Still the One

Sorry to disappoint you ladies, but I think I will hang on to my husband for a few more years! He is terribly romantic (even after five years) and he cooks, too. He does demand a lot of cuddle time, but I still think I've come out good in this bargain! 

We are celebrating our fifth anniversary in shifts due to scheduling issues. But it does mean that the fun continues on all year long! On our actual anniversary (July 12) we were at the lake with the Duthies. They decided to leave on Saturday afternoon, so Grammy came and picked up Max, thus allowing Jason and I to enjoy the night and the next day alone. We did share our delicious cake with everyone before they left! It was yummy red velvet and made by the company that did our wedding cake. 

Later in the week, Jason planned a surprise for me. He reserved a private room at the Poinsett Club and we had a special dinner for two, complete with flowers and champagne. The man does have a flair for the romantic gesture! We had one of those great, long talks about our future and our family. And it was even more special to talk about it now that we have a son! 

More fun to come next month and then on our anniversary trip!

 Happy Anniversary to the most perfect man for me!

Eight is Enough

Dear Max,

Life is so sweet right now that I wish I could freeze time. You are at such a wonderful stage and I want to keep soaking it in! As Aunt Sally and I have discussed, it is very easy to get caught up in anticipation of all the things you will do soon...crawling, walking, talking... and forget to just enjoy what you are doing right now.  So I am relishing every minute with you, exactly as you are - Eight Months Old!

You have gotten the travel bug! You've been to the lake twice, the beach, and spent the night with Grammy and Grandpa in the past month. I think you've spent more time out of your house than in your house lately! Mommy and Daddy are very happy that you are content to go places because you will have a lot of traveling in your future! You have been around other children more and learned lots from these older babies. Like your Daddy, you seem to adjust easily to any situation and are very laid back. You are happy to play, happy to cuddle, happy to sleep, or happy to be held by anyone, whether you know them or not. We have noticed that you get more pensive when you are in an unfamiliar place and don't smile as often until you get more comfortable. 

However, most of the time you grin and laugh, even to the point of snorting! Everything makes you giggle right now...toys, books, and (despite what readers of the blog believe) you also find Frank incredibly entertaining. You have started watching him constantly and laugh in delight as he bounces around the room. Frank has been surprisingly willing to allow you to pet him. You've gotten some new toys, including the drum that you love to bang, and some big boy items, but you still love the wheels on your snail and making them grind. All things, great and small, go into your mouth. I've already given up the war on germs because even if you can't get the object to your mouth, you suck your hands before I can wash them. We sing all the time and you cackle when we do Pat-A-Cake and the Itsy Bitsy Spider. You love to dance and try to boogy lying down, sitting up, standing up, and every other way you can. I think you'll be Mommy's shag partner in the future....

Your schedule has changed. You are nursing four times a day now and usually take two naps, although a short third nap is warranted on some occasions. I'm amazed (and lucky) that you sleep from 7:30 to 7:30 and still take lengthy naps during the day! The end of an era has arrived. We are planning to lower your crib this weekend. My little baby is so big...or at least so old! Although I'd love to keep you at this age, I know at the end of your next month I'll be just as enthusiastic about it as I am about this one. I love you, Max!

Love, Mommy

Hit the Road, Jack!

Max has a reputation as such a fun guy that friends are willing to travel all the way from Kentucky to spend time with him! Jack (and his parents Scott and Amy) road tripped down last weekend to spend a few days relaxing at the lake. Unfortunately, the rest of the party crew (whose names all start with "J"...you know who you are) could not make it, but the kids kept us old folks entertained.

Jack demonstrated how to properly enjoy the baby pool and Max, seeking to impress his older and wiser friend, finally decided he likes the water! The boys hung out on the deck, splashing and playing in their private hot tub with the lake as a backdrop. Jack offered Max his toys, and Max promptly stuck them in his mouth. Isn't that where Motorcycle Man wants to go?

Jack decided he had a need for speed and tried driving the boat to rev up his vacation. I have never heard a child with such a large vocabulary of vehicle noises. He can do anything...planes, trains, automobiles, and more! He also learned to say "Maaaax" and point towards the door to Max's room when Max was sleeping. So precious!

We decided not to post the pictures of the wild parties with women in bikinis and massive amounts of alcohol in order to prevent the others from being jealous about what they missed. This is the second vacation that we've had with the Duthies that I have lost my voice. I'm not casting blame, but it is odd that I never lose it at any other time so I guess I just talk too much around y'all! We had a wonderful time and are so grateful to the Duthies for making the long drive. We look forward to many more family vacations together!

Happily Ever After.....

.....continues!

Happy Fifth Anniversary!

Who has teeth?

"Who has teeth? Well, look around and you'll find out who. You'll find that redheaded uncles do. And zebras, and camels, and unicycle riders, and little boys named MAX!

"They will always be handy when you smile, so keep your teeth around awhile!"

~Dr. Seuss

Yankee Doodle Boy

Happy Fourth of July!

I have finally posted new pictures on the website! 

There are three new folders:

June

Nana and Papa at the Lake

Max and William at the Beach

Don't feel overwhelmed...just take it one adorable picture at a time! Enjoy!