Lessons Learned

Today I learned that my mascara is not waterproof. 

Today I learned that I need Max more than he needs me. 

Today I learned that letting go is the hardest lesson every parent learns. 

Today, Max started the Infant Toddler Program (ITP) at our church. He will attend 2 mornings a week for a few hours. Does this sound awful and cruel? Absolutely not, but I have struggled with our decision to enroll him in any type of program at his age. As you know, we are blessed to have a wonderful Grammy nearby, who not only agreed to keep Max while I work, but truly relishes the opportunity and claims it is a privilege. Due to this, we do not need child care for Max. Additionally, one of his mornings at ITP will be on a day I'm off from work. Hence the feelings of guilt..do you think guilt is a hormone that is released in childbirth?

The bright spot is that it is an excellent program. I know lots of mothers call their child's day care "school", even though it is obviously not "school" yet. But considering everything we did to get ready for Max to start, I cannot imagine doing more when he leaves for college.  First there was the home visit by his teachers so they could see Max in his natural habitat (and meet the kitties). This is when we were assigned our "homework". I had to create a notebook for Max that the teachers will write in daily, and that Jason and I will contribute stories to as well. The first assignment was to design the cover and a page on the origins of Max's name. We also had to create a montage about our family to be posted in the classroom. Then I had to collect pictures of Max's house, nursery, extended family, pets, backyard, etc  to be placed in a photo album for him to look at in the classroom. And a CD of his favorite lullabies. Shew. Of course, being an overachiever, I spent hours making his things creative and special. Next, was the first parent meeting and then a drop in the following day when we took Max to see the classroom for the first time. All this before he even officially started. 

Max is in the "Duck" room. Can you imagine anything more appropriate? The room is amazing. The teachers are so creative and it is a wonderland for crawling and walking babies. It is covered in pictures, including photos of the kids' houses and families. They hung them low on the wall so the babies can crawl to them and "visit". There was too much for Max to explore. He loved it and I think it will benefit him to have time with other children. At the very least, he will learn how to defend himself properly!

I stayed for the first hour (as did several of the other Mommies) before I was able to walk out of the room. I feel like this is the beginning. From here on, it is just a series of goodbyes as I learn to let Max be independent. I guess Mommies still have to go to "school" to learn these things too.

Retraction

I take it all back. 

Max seems to be back on track (tentatively) and has been sleeping his customary 12 hours at night and taking  two 1.5 to 2.5 hour naps each day. I won't be selling him to the passing baby merchants just yet! 

"Cry of Freedom" by Frank

I have recently been released on parole from my imprisonment. My period of confinement gave me much time to reflect upon what went wrong in my quest to depose the baby usurper. I will admit that I plotted against the Baby and all that he represented. I was determined to maintain my status as ruler of the Household. My life has changed greatly since the arrival of the Baby. First, I was exiled from the Bedroom where I had so happily slept upon the soft cushioned bed and the legs of my people (Mommy and Daddy). Then my people deserted me to support the Rule of Baby. However, Bean remained loyal and assisted me during my struggle. It was not enough though, and I was caught and jailed after several attempts to assassinate the Baby. The first weeks were extremely difficult. I lost weight, growing gaunt and weak. I became depressed and contemplated ending it all with a dash out the door and onto the street. Yet, I could not deprive my soldiers of my leadership. I knew I must remain a role model for them and demonstrate how to handle adversity! 

Recently, the Baby and I have reached a tentative detente. He allowed me out of jail temporarily as part of a work release program. Oh how that little pipsqueak humbled me! I am forced to offer myself as a sacrifice whenever he is upset or wants entertainment. I am a jester at his command.  The indignity. But, I have earned my freedom. I once again rule over the Bedroom at night while the Baby sleeps.  Frank's time will come again....one day......

The Boy Who Would Not Sleep

Max has decided that he no longer needs to sleep. The Boy Who Loved to Sleep has morphed into the Boy Who Would Not Sleep.

Until this point, we have been very fortunate that Max enjoyed his slumber. We never had to let him "cry it out" and he even gave up his night feedings on his own with only minimal assistance from us. From the beginning we tried to instill good sleeping habits with Max. We attempted to maintain an Eat-Play-Sleep cycle so that he wouldn't associate nursing with sleeping. We put him to bed drowsy but awake instead of holding him until he fell asleep. We learned to watch for his sleep cues and pay attention to what he was telling us. For example, when we are reading a story and Max starts to fuss, that does not mean keep reading until he stops whimpering. It means put him in the bed because he is ready to sleep! He would pop his thumb in his mouth, turn over, and be asleep within a few minutes.

We were also fairly strict (consistent) about his schedule and having him home to nap in his crib as much as possible. We never let him get into the habit of napping in the car or the swing unless he woke up early or it couldn't be avoided. After some trial and error, we gave him a regular bedtime and wake up time. I wish we had started the wake up time sooner, although it just seemed fundamentally wrong to wake a sleeping baby. We did all these things "right" and for 9 months we had a great sleeper.

So what now? What do you do when your child starts waking up before the sun comes up? Starts taking 45 minute naps? Sits up and grins at you from the crib when you go in to check on him? Where is my Max?

Sigh. None of my friends have any sympathy for me. They tell me stories of woe about babies who didn't sleep through the night until after their first birthday and tales of never ending crying. But let me assure you, going backwards on sleeping is so much harder. When you are used to a regular sleeping schedule, it is torture to be sleep deprived and foggy brained again. I have always known that we just got lucky to have a good sleeper. I know plenty of people who tried the same methods we used to no avail. The question remains, how do you recapture your luck? Come back, sleeping baby, come back. 

Mighty Max

Look out, bigger babies--Max is catching up! 

At nine months, he weighed in at 17 pounds and 6 ounces and is 27 1/4 inches in length. He is ready for the heavyweight division! 

The Eternal Quest

There's my favorite toy!

I've almost got it.......

Success!

Remote, you are mine!

Has Mommy noticed I have it?

Caught in the act!

Lookin' Fine at Number Nine

Dear Max,

Nine months old and you are a man in motion!  You are definitely NOT content to sit and be a bystander any longer. You want to be part of the action! Everything is fascinating and you swivel your had back and forth trying to catch it all (in fact, that move is very similar to how your Daddy used to walk around Furman, nodding from side to side as he greeted everyone). Putting toys in and out of a box (and in and out and in and out), crumpling magazine pages, playing with water bottles, scooting like a bunny, crawling, and pulling up on everything in sight are only a small sampling of your daily activities.  And you are all boy. The first thing you do with a toy is turn it over to look at where the batteries go or how it works. Josh and Darin have generously shared their big boy trucks with you and naturally you are enthralled by the wheels. Where you get this mechanical interest is unknown to me! 

I am truly amazed by how many skills you are capable of learning at the same time. One moment, you are crawling and pulling up in the den, then you're sitting in your crib after a nap, you grab your spoon and try to feed yourself at lunch, and in the afternoon you are trying to talk! It has been this amazing jumble of development in a short period of time.

Max, the past month has been so full of changes that some days I wonder where my little baby went. Especially over the past week when you decided you didn't want to sleep. Waking up early, taking puny naps, and sitting back up when I laid you down...over and over....what happened to my boy who loves to sleep? I have my fingers crossed that we are quickly moving out of that stage as I write this.  You've always loved to be naked, but you were also helpful and would obligingly raise your legs when I changed your diaper. Now, it is like wrestling an alligator to get diapers and clothes on you. I've had to become Houdini just to get you dressed! 

I am very thankful that you still like to cuddle, even if it is a bit less than before. When you are sleepy, you love to burrow your face into the crook of my neck, cover your eyes with your hand, and pull your legs up against my chest. Pure sweetness. But it is Daddy that makes you light up when he walks in the room. It is as though you cannot contain your happiness and you squeal and throw your arms in the air as soon as you see him. You definitely know how to make us smile!

We love you, little one. Don't grow too fast.

Love, Mommy

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Group Therapy

Spending the weekend with my favorite girls in the world (my college roommates) is my idea of the best therapy! Due to our cautiousness in capturing photographic evidence of our debauchery, here are a few quotes to help us remember the weekend: 

You wrote them ALL down? Gathering momentum * Like Chip and Dale, but better * Why? Would it be a different color? * On my palm * I bet it's....respectful * It's coming out! * I have a pain.... *  I have a personal question * A pirate and a lumberjack *  Rub a dub dub, Four girls in a Tub * What roles? * Something just stroked my foot * Will you tell Zach that? * Put on your pearls and go to battle * You hurt me * Take me, I'm Fun Sally! * If I were to write a letter to myself... * I saw that look! 

Naturally, although it was a truly fabulous weekend, I was anxious to get home to Max. This was the longest I've ever been away from him. I rush in the door expecting him to greet me with hugs and kisses. Instead, I get a perfunctory smile and then he reaches for....Sally. Sigh. I think the only separation anxiety occurring here is on Mommy's part. 

I love my roomies and cannot wait for our next reunion! 

Now and Then

As part of our extended anniversary celebration, Jason and I relived our wedding reception by spending the night in the honeymoon suite at the Ryan Nicholas Inn. Tango, anyone?

Mr. and Mrs. Richards

Then

and Now

You Can't Stop the Max...

...from pulling up and crawling!

Deja Vu

This weekend has been like a repeat of several summer weekends put together, leaving me with a feeling of deja vu. First up, on Saturday morning Jason took Max to the Farmers Market just like we did two weeks ago. (The pictures are from his first trip) Jason patiently explained the various fruit and veggies before letting Max help pick out some yummy blueberries, tomatoes, snap peas, and fresh pasta!

Jason had "Daddy duty" this Saturday while I participated in the Run 2 Overcome, a 5k to support a recent victim of sexual assault. It had an amazing turnout of a 1000 people, but it was brutal. I ran (haha, kidding)...I walked, but it was all uphill! In the August heat! Afterwards, my mom, my sister, my grandmother and I went to lunch and to see Mamma Mia. Then we finally got to visit with my cousin Adriane who is pregnant with a precious baby girl! 

Since Jason had entertained Max during the day, he decided to meet some friends for the baseball game that night. Deja vu, part duex. We took Max to his first game a few weeks ago, where he was reunited with his two favorite girls, Sofia and Wesa. Be proud, Auntie Beckers, he seemed very excited about the game! 

However, while Jason was at the game, I experienced the worst part of my deja vu weekend: food poisoning.  Jason had unfortunately gotten it when we went to a Mexican restaurant the night before the 4th of July, thus ruining our plans for the holiday. My case was not as severe, but still very unpleasant. Luckily, I was able to get Max to bed before running for the bathroom. Ugh. Not the best end to an otherwise fun day. However, I have a lot to look forward to in the coming week, including spending next weekend at the lake with my best friends! I'm counting the days!