Proposition 101-10

We, the undersigned, hereby recommend that the month of January be officially removed from the calendar. January is a month filled with sickness and runny noses, frigid weather with gray skies that lighten only for a few hours, and an endless stream of days until the promise of spring. The inevitable post-holiday letdown occurs each January. The gyms are filled with New Year's Resolutionaries and bank accounts are unequivocally empty. Job losses. Injuries. Depression. The sun does not shine on January.

Does January have any redeeming qualities? We propose that it does not. It deserves to be wiped from the calendar, as well as from the memories of the general public. Henceforth, all birthdays in the first half of the month (including Laura and Grandma Beau) will be moved to December. All birthdays falling in the second half of the month (such as Jason and Grandpa Beau) will be redistributed to February. Pledge your support for this crucial piece of legislation by signing your name. Join the crusade.

Farewell January, you wicked month.